RHOBH – S9 E1 Lucy Lucy Apple Juicy

Lisa Vanderpump, Kyle Richards, Dorit Kemsley, Erika Jayne, Lisa Rinna, Camille Meyer & Teddi Mellencamp Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – S9 E1 Lucy Lucy Apple Juicy

I’m not going to lie, I was scared about season 9 of RHOBH. Figured it’ll all be about LVP and not juicy at all…but based off of the season teasers, interviews AND TITLE of this episode, I am PUMPED. PLEASE, PLEASE, RHOBH, do not disappoint. I need you!

Tag lines are in, my fav is LVP, hate to say it, but hers is amazing! Lol we’re starting at LVP’s house?! Omg yassssss, it’s sooo good and been 2 seconds! Lol. They old Kyle vs. Lisa, it’s about time they’re over. Oh God, Ken is a maniac! I can’t stand him! Wow, I can’t believe they kicked Kyle out!!

Holy crap! Love her new house!!! Ugggh I am so happy!!! Okay, so that was TWO months, post, opening scene.

Oh heeeeeyyyyy Rinna!! Awe, well LVP agreed to Kyle’s pool party! Holy crap Dorit looks horrible first thing in the morning haha! I love her! By horrible, I just mean natural! We never see her like that! Omg this intro is everything.

Starting with Teddi?! Wow how times have changed! Lol, she moved 5 houses away! Lol. Teddi’s business is killing it, I’m not going to lie. She makes me want to be an accountability coach! It’s so fing expensive!

Lisa Rinna’s daughters are incredible! Haha. But who has the better daughters? Rinna or Yolanda?!

Very interesting to see Goat Yoga, doesn’t seem like something I’d be into it. Seems a little too distracting! Lol, I can’t believe Delilah is moving back!! Lol, I don’t blame her to want to be closer to Rinna, she’s amazing! Lol.

Lol, the girls said it makes them uncomfortable that Rinna goes to the shoots hahaha!! What are you talking about embarrassing?! Lol.

Omg, poor Jiggy isn’t doing well. The day that dog goes is going to be a VERY sad day. For all of Bravo!

LVP’s brother committed suicide, that is so tough. Idk how anyone could deal with that! Wathing LVP is fing breaking my heart. And I didn’t expect that within the first few minutes of this episode!

Lol! Justin Bieber was in boxing class with Teddi and Kyle and they were freaking out, fan girl crushing! Teddi is basically Kyle’s accountability coach?! Wtf. Is she paying for that?! You could see Teddi and Kyle becoming close last season, I guess they are even closer this year? That was so awkward when Kyle’s house was robbed and Teddi’s husband is the one who handled the security? Shady AF. Also, horrible marketing!

FINALLY! EJ! Wow, DORIT just arrived at her house, never thought this would happen?! HOLY CRAP. Dorit was robbed too?! WTF. She just said she’s been robbed FIVE TIMES?! Are you kidding me?!

Dorit went rock climbing after her robbery?! Lol! I remember those pics! So funny on IG.

Okay, I have a feeling drama is about to pop off. Kyle and Teddi are going to Vanderpump Dogs to meet Lisa. LVP is already coming after Kyle and she just walked in the door.

…Awwwwwwkward. The weird guy that works at Vanderpump Dogs asked Kyle if she recognized the dog he was trying to pawn off on Teddi? Kyle had no idea, and now that I think about it, she either, “played dumb” or literally didn’t know. We all know what’s about to happen. Well, in the blogging world at least. This is supposedly the start of all the drama and here it is 30 mins into episode 1!

Bravo is also showing Dorit on the other side telling Erika about it at her house. Lol! Dorit said she, “thought Lucy (the dog’s name) was going to a beautiful home”, okay, so where did the confusion come from? Wow, even Teddi is on Lisa’s side right now? Maybe this is what Rinna was talking about when she said Teddi might feel bad for a little bit this season. Maybe because she is on LVP’s side at first? Calling it now.

Holy crap, all of these dogs bite! Geez. Omg, Kyle is yelling at Lisa, she said she isn’t getting into it with her and they’re raising their voices. OMG, Kyle is now comparing Lisa’s relationship with her and Dorit’s, we’ve been here before! Please stop! (But that was a legit, great example!). lol.

Ugh, it’s always the Kyle and Lisa show. Yikes, Kyle is PISSED. Like, literally. Now LVP is crying. Everyone’s letting it slide because she’s going through all that stuff with her brother.  

Yayyyy Denise has arrived! I’m excited to see her on the show!! God I love Rinna. Everyone is meeting Denise for the first time. Can’t wait to see how this goes. Hmm…Erika is kind of fan girling over her right now. Geez, she and Charlie were only married for 4.5 years?! Well that was a casual hang session. Not enough for me, IMO. Lol! I can’t tell how much Denise is going to be on this season. I hope a decent amount.

Dorit & PK are going to dinner with Lisa & Ken. I’m interested to hear about the dog thing. Yikes, LVP acted OK about it. But the PK said, anyone could have done this. And LVP corrected him asap! She’s like, um, no. LVP said she’s trying to shut down the gossip about it, but she’s basically blaming Teddi!? When clearly the guy at the shop brought it up to Kyle? So weird. Let the lies begin.

Pool party time, perfect! Uggggh, I am so happy!! I am so glad BH is back!! Ugh oh, Dorit runs into Teddi right away. Dorit is def giving off cold shoulder vibes to Teddi, I’ll be happy when she sees tonight’s episode, and how the situation really went down.

Oh great, LVP has arrived. Let’s see how this goes. Yesssss, KYLE! Is going to own up to it! Well…technically she didn’t just now, but I have a feeling she’s going to! Please be this episode! Lol.

Awe, oh hey Camile! Her ring is fing HUGGGGE! YES! Kyle is by Dorit, I bet she’s going to tell her! Wow, this is awkward. Dorit stopped following Teddi? Weird. She just invited her son to their party. #winning?! I forgot Charlie even started that!!! Omg, Cruz just peed in Kyle’s pool! Holy crap the plug for this season was amazing!!

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